Vent- why do I fucking this shit

I just relapsed and idk why but the regret on this one is hitting a lot more than normally I genuinely am mad at myself for gooning to porn I hate it I hate I hate I hate that I’m this addicted and one thought is enough to send me down the rabbit hole more like shithole I need to stop I must stop I have to stop if I ever want a gf or anything meaningful in this life