Autistic Teen and missing Mass because of behavior issues question.

I have a teenage son with autism. This situation happens occasionally and I wanted to see how others view it. For the record we are converts.

His behavior can be irrational at times. He’s what you would consider Level 2, some days a level 3. Other times he’s very “functional”, but limited verbally. So, most weeks we go to Mass at 10:30 am. But days like today, where he was fine last night, but around 9 am after we have missed the window for one of us (husband and I) to attend the 8 am Mass so the other can stay home for regular Mass time with him, he started going down hill. It wasn’t feasible to take him given his behavior. There’s a chance he would scream, run away from us, or have a meltdown because of the crying babies. (And now, thankfully due to growing families, all weekend Masses have babies making noise so finding a set one to go to without them has been removed as an option.)

Is it a literal sin for me to miss Mass today? Because of this I’ve missed all local available Mass times (all at 8 am). I’d have to drive at minimum an hour one way to find another. Do I need to go confession or is personal contrition enough?

If it is a sin, that needs confession, how does one not grow bitterness over these types of things because I don’t think the average priest or person understands the level of care needed for a child/person like my son. It isn’t cut and dry or black and white day to day. All the preparation in the world can’t prepare for these types of things. We avoided church for too many years before converting because we worried he would be a distraction and I worked so hard to teach him to love Christ and be respectful and quiet and reverent at Mass. I am so proud that I got a seven year old severely autistic child to a point where he could come to Mass, genuflect, sit still for the whole Mass, and actually listen. So when we have these days or the few times he has trouble and people look at us like we should be ashamed, it’s hard. And the times we can’t make it, it’s so hard to see it as a sin because I am doing my best. In fact, since typing this, he has started to calm down and came to me with the remote and asked me to find him a Mass on YouTube.

I just don’t know if this is a sin that requires confession or nnot, and I have trouble having shame and seeking contrition on days like this because I feel like I am doing and have been doing the best I can. I sent my husband with our girls. He offered to stay home, but I feel like I should save their souls over mine. lol Can any one offer advice or relate?