How do you even find a genuine guy to date these days?

Is it just me, or does dating feel extremely messy right now? There’s so much talk about cheating, ghosting, lack of loyalty, situationships… it honestly makes it hard to trust the whole system.

Why do genuine people end up getting conned so easily? Why do people who actually want something real keep trusting the wrong ones? And why does it feel like the “right” kind of people never find each other?

I’m not trying to be negative. It’s just that everything we hear around us kind of reinforces this fear. My defenses are naturally high now. I don’t have trauma from a past relationship or anything dramatic, but I still struggle to let my walls down. It’s like I can’t fully read or trust someone’s intentions anymore.

And consistency? Effort? It feels rare. People seem interested for a short period of time and then get bored. Maybe it’s because most connections start online now. Maybe real-life connections would feel different. I don’t know.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s not about online or offline at all. Maybe I’m just in the wrong space right now. The people around me don’t really match my energy, and it makes me feel slightly out of place. What if the kind of connection I’m meant to have exists somewhere else in this same state, just in a completely different circle, a different environment, a different phase of life? It’s strange to think that something meant for you could be so close geographically, yet feel so far away.

I’m 24. Still figuring out my career. Still haven’t met someone I see a future with. It’s just a lot of “what ifs” and overthinking sometimes.

Would love to hear how others are taking this. Is it really this hard to find something genuine, or am I just overthinking it?