I know I complain about this before, but I get really tired of people giving me their unsolicited advice about friends and relationships when they've never been in my shoes.

If anything in this paragraph comes off as emotional or illogical, I apologize because I'm in a bad mood. my mother wants more for me and I completely understand. however, some of the advice that she gives me and has given me it really irks me. the reason why I say this is because my mom and I were watching a movie last night. a sex scene came on and my mom said "see all you got to do is wait for love you don't need to go searching online for it!" and "you don't need to find love on Facebook or on tinder" which is true. upon hearing that advice I deleted all my dating apps.

however, this advice hurts me because sometimes it's the messenger and not the message. my mom got married at 21 and had three kids by the time she was my age. She has never been single for more than 2 years. She tells me all the time about the friends that she had in her childhood years and her teenage years and I can see how much that has helped her when it comes to connecting with other people. Me on the other hand, has not had these experiences and by being on dating apps and apps that help me to connect with other people this is me making up my time when I wasn't able to achieve these things. However, my mom's telling me that these things are bad because they're dangerous which is true but I don't know how to connect with other people if people barely want to talk to me in real life. I don't understand people who give advice but never had to use it before. Plus, I don't understand why I'm the one that always has to wait for "divine timing" when it comes to love and Friends but everybody else has been dating since they're 15. the worst of it is I didn't even ask for her advice because the advice that my mom gives it doesn't apply to my situation at best and it's uncompassionate at worse. I remember my mom telling me when I used to complain about not having friends and not being respected at school is "you just want to be popular", "you go to school for your work not to make friends". And when I used to complain about not being able to date when I was younger the advice that she gives me is "dating is hard", "I know somebody that is 45 and they never had a boyfriend, you just got to wait", and "look at what I'm going through with your dad why do you want to have a boyfriend so badly". So as you see, my mom gives me advice about love and friendship the same way a parent slaps a kid's hand away at a candy store. I stopped complaining about friends and relationship problems with her since I was 20. My mom still doesn't understand that I don't have the same advantages she has. She's attractive and neurotypical while I'm not any of those things. She has a foundation of socialization because she hasn't been completely ostracized in her teen years or her twenties and I'm still trying to find myself because the time where I got autism diagnosis from when I was 11 years old people started ostracizing me and treating me differently and that went on all the way until I was 20.

I'm emotionally preparing myself for not being married by 30 because that's the pathway I'm going down. however, when my mom gives me advice about love and Friends and it's always given with no compassion whatsoever it puts me in my feelings and it irks me too. my mom doesn't even understand I was in a good mood until she said that. I really wish she understood that she's no help when it comes to me being emotional about not having friends and not having relationships in general because it's coming from somebody that never had a struggle with those things. I get so tired of being villainized for things that everyone else gets to achieve. And if I never find love, can I please come to that conclusion by myself instead of always being treated like it's a bad thing that I want connections with other people? Does anybody else feel this way or I'm being illogical?