Depression turned me ugly.

Hi everyone. I would really appreciate some advice, and I hope none of this sounds stupid, but I just don't know how else to put it, and hope someone can help me a little, also sorry if it's a little long. Thank you. :)

I'm 17, female. Four months ago, I started becoming depressed again. I haven't felt this down since 2022, where I originally got depressed, and I stopped attending school, couldn't get out of bed, started self harming, didn't sleep and constantly dealt with anxiety and horrible thoughts that consumed me constantly. I basically felt horrible every single day, and hated waking up every single morning.

Eventually, after around a year, I got better, and everything was going well. I was doing good in school, had lots of friends and attended more social events, had a good therapist who really helped me, I lost a lot of weight and actively attended the gym, ate super well and had a good sleep schedule, I was also prescribed acne pills for my acne and managed to get clear skin for the first time in my life. I also got myself a boyfriend. Basically my life was going super well, and I occasionally felt depressed, but it was manageable, I could get out of bed and attend school and didn't self harm or hurt myself so it was good.

However, four months ago, I started spiralling downwards again, and it's really bad. I've been kicked out of school for my failing attendance, I gained over 10 kgs and my acne is horrible, and they refused to prescribe me acne pills, I don't get sleep at night, can't get out of bed and don't do anything except sleep and watch movies in bed, I can barely shower anymore, and just broke up with my boyfriend. I can't hold contact with any of my friends, or plan hang outs because I'm so drained from energy.

I got a therapist again, but it all just feels so impossible. I have no idea where to start. I feel disgusting and ugly, I barely even recognize myself in the mirror anymore, and that's making my depression feel even worse since I don't like my physical looks. I hate having to go outside because I feel like everyone sees how ugly I am compared to all the other girls. It just feels so impossible to get better, I just wish I could sleep forever sometimes :(