Let’s be honest: casting debates usually revolve around race, but I think we’re ignoring another critical metric — height.

In the novellas, Dunk is described as being over seven feet tall, a walking medieval skyscraper. The current actor, Peter Claffey, stands at a mere 6'5". Frankly, this four-to-seven-inch discrepancy has shattered my immersion and possibly my will to go on.

Therefore, I humbly propose that in Season 2 he be replaced by the only man truly capable of portraying Dunk as written: Mr. Shaquille O’Neal.

Mr. O’Neal brings with him a deep and prestigious acting résumé, including Blue Chips (1994), Kazaam (1996), Steel (1997), The Wash (2001), and Uncle Drew (2018). These films showcase not only his fantasy credentials (Kazaam clearly demonstrates mastery of magical realism), but also his refined comedic timing and dramatic range.

Additionally, in a little-known bit of trivia, Mr. O’Neal once dabbled in professional basketball. His natural athleticism would dramatically improve the show’s fight choreography. I cannot be the only viewer still recovering from the 20-minute beating Dunk endured in Episode 5, which portrayed our beloved hedge knight as a somewhat clumsy and untrained oaf. Mr. O’Neal, given his size and speed, would almost certainly have resolved that situation in approximately 3–5 business seconds.

I urge all reasonable fans to sign this petition to HBO so we can move forward with the Dunk & Egg series in the towering, Shaq-shaped direction it truly deserves.

In my next post, I will present a carefully researched proposal to replace Egg with Kevin Hart.

Thank you for your time and your courage.

Proposal to replace Peter Claffey with Shaquille O Neal as Dunk