Walked away from a married ex-fling, but still fighting the urge to go back

I had a breakup in 2022 after a 9 year relationship with my high school boyfriend. It ended amicably, but it was still incredibly hard. We occasionally check in on each other even now, which probably slows down my healing a bit, but I wouldn’t change it because there’s still respect there.

About six months after the breakup, my friends encouraged me to start dating again. That’s when I met this guy. He was brilliant, went to one of the top business schools in the world, extremely well read, funny, and charismatic. Conversations were effortless, we had insane chemistry and, honestly, great sex too.

We dated for about three months. But I eventually realized I was using that connection to distract myself from my long-term breakup and more like he was the bad pancake for me. He was also moving cities, so it felt like the right time to end it. After that, I went completely off social media in 2023 to heal quietly.

In 2024, when I reactivated Instagram, I saw that he had gotten married. I unfollowed him. He kept sending follow requests, which I ignored. Later in 2025, we met each other at a party. I was tipsy and ended up giving him my number, still don’t know why I did that. A week ago, he texted saying he was in my city for work and asked to catch up. We spoke on the phone for 3 hours straight that night. He’s always been extremely persuasive in a way I’ve honestly never seen before.

We met for dinner the next day. While dropping him back, he tried to kiss me. For a split second, I felt the thrill of doing something forbidden. And then the guilt hit me like a truck. I suddenly felt terrible for his wife and, honestly, disgusted with myself. I pulled over, asked him to get out, and told him not to contact me again. His response was, “you know what to do if you change your mind,” and it has been stuck in my head since then. Rn I have blocked him everywhere.

Right now, I feel awful, but I also feel like I did the right thing. The guilt of even going to dinner with him is eating at me. At the same time, I won’t lie, I still feel the urge to text him. He’s one of the funniest, most intelligent, magnetic people I’ve met. The chemistry is real, so is the temptation.

Some of my friends told me to block him everywhere and even warn him that I’d text his wife if he pushes further. Others told me to just go for it since I’m single and the onus is on him. But deep down, I know I can’t do it. I don’t want to be that woman. I don’t think I could live with myself.

Women who’ve been in a similar situation, how did you fight the urge? How did you stick to your boundaries when temptation felt so strong? I know I won’t go through with it, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t still feel pulled.

Thanks for reading my rant. I’m not just venting, I’m genuinely looking for perspective and advice on how to stay firm in this

TL;DR - Dated a brilliant, charismatic guy after my 9-year breakup. It ended. He’s married now. We recently reconnected, had dinner, and he tried to kiss me. I wanted to — but stopped it, dropped him off, and blocked him. I know it was the right thing to do, but I’m still fighting the temptation to text him because the chemistry is very real.