I lie, and it's consuming me.

I am crying and shaking as I write this lol. The university application deadline was in November, and seven days later, in December, I remembered that I had to apply. That day, I almost threw up from stress. I had been so focused on finding an apartment in another city and avoiding scams that I ended up forgetting the only reason I was going there: to study!

The worst part is having to keep up a lie while I look for a poorly paid job. The feeling is horrible, and I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty for disappointing my parents.