Struggling with weed withdrawals and a lot more...

I mostly lurk, so this is my first time posting here. I (30F) have been a heavy cannabis user for 13 years. I already struggle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, cPTSD, and auDHD. Normally, I'm a mostly confident person despite my many mental health issues, but back in late September I noticed my confidence dropped drastically. I'm also a very expressive and creative person, but all of my creativity has stalled, and I've gone into complete hermit mode. Oh and I'm very serious about working out, too. I have a home gym and I've been consistent on my fitness journey for 5 years. Well, I've noticed my passion for weightlifting and just moving my body in general has been wavering. I haven't given up my workouts altogether, but routine has been kinda all over the place. When I would get high, I'd get that big boost of creativity and euphoria. I was pretty much high all day everyday. One of the many things I've noticed recently is that when I get high lately, it doesn't feel the same anymore. I don't get the creative spark. I don't feel happy and euphoric. When I get high I feel flat only now my brain is in a fog. That alone made me decide to quit. I've been through this cycle before where I try to quit and then I end up relapsing. Last month I decided to quit cold turkey, and I made it about 2 weeks sober. I took a trip to California with my brother, his gf, and my mom. My brother is also a heavy cannabis user and he doesn't have any intentions of ever quitting. Well, that was a recipe for disaster because being with him and being in a legal state, I relapsed. What a surprise. When I came back home, I got ahold of more weed and the cycle began a new. This time, I decided to quit yet again, but I threw away everything. I flushed my buds down the toilet and I threw away my edibles and all of my paraphernalia. I am now 10 days sober. It's been really tough for me because I live in a small town where I definitely don't fit in. There's nothing to do here at all and I don't drive. Since it's such a small town, there's no public transportation, either. I used to have a friend, but she betrayed me in the worst way possible a year ago by trying to sabotage my going on 10 year marriage with my husband. I didn't realize until after the betrayal that I was hanging out with a narcissist. It's been a year since the betrayal, and because of my living and driving situation, I have no friends. My husband, who doesn't smoke weed, is absolutely fantastic, but I work from home and when he's at work I am all by myself. I used to go places all the time when I had a friend. Thankfully, in less than 3 weeks my husband and I will be moving to a new city where there's actually a ton of things to see and do. Oh, I can't even go on walks in my neighborhood anymore because people here drive as if this isn't a residential area. I've almost been hit by a car just taking a walk, so I got a walking pad to walk indoors. But walking indoors gets boring to me after a while. I like the fresh air and scenery. Anyway, when I move, things will be a lot easier because I'll have a lot of things to distract me from feeling so lonely and bored. My new neighborhood has a sidewalk so that I can take walks without worrying about getting run over, but that doesn't help my situation as of right now. Right now, I am so lonely and depressed. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to get high because it won't change anything. It's been a year since my best friend did what she did, but it was so traumatic that I think about it every single day. I also just feel like a failure in general. Sorry if what I've typed out sounds crazy and rambling. I don't really know what I'm getting at here. I guess I just want to feel like I'm not completely alone.