Undergoing Rehab: My SO's Experience and Transformation (Discussion and Sharing)

Just a disclaimer, some minor details have been changed to protect the identity of my SO.

My SO was discharged from rehab after spending nearly two years, and was taken there due to behavioral and other mental health issues such as anxiety, bipolar disorder and difficulty to control one's anger. The facility my SO was taken to is close to Tagaytay City and we've visited regularly with the SO's family, it's a nice place and is on the better half of the private rehab facilities we have in the country.

If you prefer to read the conclusions, skip to the bottom part of this post.

First three months - little to no communication was allowed, and the loved ones could only view the patient via cctv and drop off supplies. The facility staff often shared photos of my SO participating in activities, you could see in their eyes that they're not in there for fun.

Three to six months - we were allowed to exchange letters but under the close monitoring and review of the facility staff. I had several letters rejected by the staff for being too emotionally-charged, and I can understand that. By the fifth month, we were allowed to spend three hours per visit with the patient and was under watch by staff should my SO act up.

Six months to one year - by the latter half of the year, we were allowed to bring my SO outside the facility for a short time and was still under the watch and guidance of the facility staff. At this point, I noticed my SO was suppressing a lot of things to be said, in a self-censoring manner that felt unnatural. It was also at this point where I learned that in the facility, they mixed patients with a wide range of mental health issues. Thankfully, my SO was one of the milder ones.

First half of the second year - During this period, my SO was given more roles and responsibilities in the facility, guiding newer patients in the ins and outs of rehab life, which my SO did quite well. However, I also noticed that despite being in rehab, my SO still retained a lot of the bad mental health traits such as being a gossiper, a hothead and provoking others during confrontations. This was also the time where visits were no longer supervised by facility staff and was just watched over by more senior patients. At this point, I found out that escape attempts were frequent, and successful escapes do happen, but were rare.

Second half of the second year until release - During this point, the facility allowed my SO to spend more and more time outside the facility with the family unsupervised. This was also the point where I noticed that after nearly a year and more of rehab, my SO still retained the mental health issues that led to rehab, albeit, at milder levels. This was also the time where my SO regained all the weight lost during rehab because foods with stimulating chemicals such as sweets, caffeine and spicy things weren't allowed.

One month after release - It was a shame I wasn't able to see my SO released from rehab, but I was told that it was uneventful and not much emotions were involved since my SO spent half the year outside the facility most of the time. The first thing my SO did was to check social media and news. It's strange how much social isolation changes one's views on life. My SO vowed to minimize social media use (which only lasted for a month) and to begin working out (again, didn't happen).

So, after all of this is said and done, here's what I have observed and concluded:

1. Rehab is not a silver bullet to heal one's mental illness, it just forcefully guides you in the right direction and the rest is up to you.
2. Rehab isn't holistic. Most of the time, patients follow a strict schedule and regular counselling, with additional counselling given to patients who showed little improvement.
3. The support from loved ones outside the facility will make or break the patient's healing process. There were patients who were hardly visited and were the ones to attempt escapes and lash out.
4. In connection with #1, you really must learn to help yourself and embrace the fact that you're in need of help. My SO unfortunately still struggles with this and still uses mental health as an excuse for the outbursts and for being irresponsible.
5. Mental healthcare is still a long way off in our country. This facility is one of the better ones available and it isn't cheap, and yet, this is as far as private rehab goes. The really better ones, from what I've heard cost around 50k or higher monthly. Meds, self-care and getting help are the best things one can do, according to my SO's doctor.
6. Post-rehab healthcare is important, but is heavily dependent on the patient. My SO quickly reverted to how life was before rehab despite me and the parents constantly reminders to remind my SO what led to that dark road. Key role models at home are important. Sadly, my SO's family isn't the most mentally healthy household there is.