Just want to talk

Anyone had a terrible childhood trauma. My trauma came from my parents constant daily fights at that extent that neighborhood can clearly hear them scream it's quite embarassing. I don't side with either of parents both are problematic. Father is typical misogynist man and my mother I don't what to say about her she is biggest contribution to all my trauma, you see when parents fight most of the time you go to your mother to Console her take her side but she will blame me for everything like I did something wrong even when I'm the one who is defending her all time despite her wrong doings just because she is my mother. I feel so disconnected to her and because of her i fight with my father so disconnected with him too he is not bad dad but a terrible husband my mother is bad at both of things I guess can't say cause she did stuff for me but emotionally I can't understand her. I just don't know what to do cause parents are the closest relationship you have to rely on with close eyes but I can't do that either. I feel so lost so alone. Is there any escape?