How to deal with OCD and Islam

Hey so I've been struggling alot with my OCD and the idea of "Reverting to Islam"

As an ExMuslim for 3 years I know about the issues of Islam, the child marriages, to questionable morality, to slavery. Theres much stuff that makes me believe that theres no way that I would ever revert me to Islam

The issue is my OCD and the fear that I will revert for whatever reason, whether it be a prophecy my brain views as super true, the quran starting to make sense, or a preacher just saying the things that "make sense". This terrifies me because 1. I'm gay so even if I revert I literally have no choice but Hell, 2. It would mean that Allah allowed horrible things to happen without intervention for no reason. Here are some of my fears

1. The idea of Tasfir or Interpretation

Alot of Muslim Apologists will take critical Quran verses and Hadith and say it needs to be "interpreted to understand it better" for example verse 4:34 where some interpretations say to beat your wife, while others say to gently hit her, my brain views this fear as "what if every quran verse I saw was actually interpreted as not as bad as it seems.

2. The context arguement

Muslim Apologists also use the arguement of "Context!" in alot of Quran verses, for example verse 9:5 where this arguement would be applied, once again, my brain goes about how "What if I'm not applying correct context to these verses???"

Can someone help me with these?