29 y/o gay man unhappy with Los Angeles, what city should I try in my 30s?

What I don't like about LA:

• It's somewhat easy to meet people but it has been difficult to make friends and build community here. In general, I think it's because of the transient nature of the city, hustle culture, and car-centric design. I also feel a mismatch of lifestyle and values with most people here. I work a corporate 9-5 job, am not a "creative" or involved with the entertainment industry, and am just hoping to live a simple life and find a partner to settle down with
• Cost of living, particularly cost of housing
• Overwhelming, chaotic, and disorderly
• The neverending trash, graffiti, homelessness, bad infrastructure is demoralizing

What I'm looking for:

• Major metro area with large gay population and good job market
• Able to purchase a townhome or house with outdoor space in a nice, relatively central area for <$600k
• Neighborhood character and charm
• Good infrastructure, clean, low crime, and generally peaceful
• Social, friendly, and community oriented