Hi all

I’m confused by this part in my birth chart, my Leo stellium. Just some background. I’ve had many friends/acquaintances growing up, but never felt like I fit in or I was considered anyone’s best friend back. I’ve never had a friend I could fully be myself w or talk openly about everything. Most friendships either faded naturally over time or ended badly because of how they handled things. Even when I was younger at my own bday parties, I’d have a bunch of friends over but I’d always be alone watching them have fun from a distance feeling disconnected. 

I do have a lot of mutuals on social media and I’m friendly, always liking and commenting but I’m not actually close enough w any of them to socialize offline. I do have one person I’ve considered close for a couple of years but lately it’s clear she’s been using me, leaning on me for favors or support and then pulling away and being very dry when it’s not convenient. I don’t mind doing things for people but it feels very inconsistent after explained twice to her I don’t like when that happens 

I’ve also had a long term relationship that I guess I was able to be vulnerable w but I feel like I couldn’t go all the way because he just couldn’t understand certain things I brought up in conversation and overlooked it. He had a big social circle though and introduced me to a lot of people, so maybe that’s part of how the 11th house/Leo stellium energy has shown up in my life by being connected to groups through someone else. But that was still just one chapter of my life. 

I don’t have a sense of family/friendship/connection in my life. I don’t really fuck with my dad because of things I saw as a kid that changed how I feel about him. Ive been no contact w my mom for years. I’m close with my sister and get along well with her, I can count on her for practical things, like a ride or a to spot me money, but I’ve never turned to her for emotional support. The rest of my extended family is cut off. I don’t have anyone at work I feel like connecting with. Most of my coworkers are very conservative and not focused on social or political justice. That’s not necessarily a dealbreaker but it makes it hard for me to relate to them.

I don’t really feel the 11th house energy as I feel very lonely lately. Could it be Pluto opposing my stellium?

11H Leo stellium but no sense of community/friendship?