Modern Dating Rules?

I think part of the reason modern dating is so challenging is because we've thrown out all the old rules but haven't established any commonly accepted new ones. Everyone has a different set of standards and you don't know what they are until you've violated one of them. I asked ChatGPT what it thought the best rules for modern dating were and it produced this list.

Do you think that not having agreed upon guidelines is an issue in modern dating? Does this list resonate with you? What would you add or change?

1. Clarity is kindness. State intentions early. Update the other person quickly if your intentions change.
2. No partner benefits without partner responsibility. If someone wants access (intimacy, emotional labor, constant availability), they should also offer clarity, consistency, and respect.
3. Conflict isn’t the dealbreaker. Avoidance is. Watch how someone handles repair: listening, apologizing, changing, re-engaging.
4. Character > vibes. Chemistry isn’t compatibility. Evaluate values, goals, integrity, conflict style, and effort.
5. Define the “big three” early. Marriage seriousness/timeline, kids, and core values (faith/lifestyle) should be discussed within the first month of consistent dating.
6. The gold standard is alignment. Choose people whose actions match their words and whose life direction matches yours.
7. No exclusivity without a conversation. Assume non-exclusivity until you explicitly agree to be exclusive.
8. Match energy, don’t chase ambiguity. If you feel consistently anxious or confused, clarify. If clarity doesn’t come, exit.
9. Early dating is data-gathering, not a relationship. Keep your routines, friendships, and emotional center intact until exclusivity.
10. Time is a real currency. Spend it honestly. Don’t keep people in endless talking phases. Move toward a real date or stop.
11. The phone is a tool, not the relationship. Use texting to coordinate and connect lightly. Judge the relationship in real life.
12. Breakups should be humane. If you’ve met or talked consistently, end it with a brief, respectful message (ghost only for safety).
13. Social media isn’t a commitment signal. Likes, stories, and posts don’t define a relationship. Conversations do.