AITAH If I think my bf is s/aing me?

Sorry I know the title sounds bad but I genuinely can’t tell if I’m overreacting or not my bf (17 ) and I (f 18) have been dating for several months and have been intimate obviously however I do not want to be it’s not his fault or anything he’s done Iv always had a problem with this sort of thing after being assaulted by my dad, Iv told him what’s happened to me and we talked about how it affects me I.E nightmares, paranoia, anxiety issues, and obviously intimacy issues.

Recently my nightmares have gotten worse and more frequent an has made it impossible for me to even get undressed by myself with out looking over my shoulder or getting sweaty if someone is standing closer to me then normal. I had to tell him about this and how even his presence makes me nervous and that’s obviously not his fault or his responsibility to deal with and it’s up to me to work on this and move past my fear and anxiety so I can be in a better relationship with him however while laying bed he constantly tried to make a pass to “get the ball rolling” if you get what I mean (I apologize for the lack of mature description of intimacy I find it difficult to be blunt about it without it sounding cringe) and I froze and I just let him even after he asked me if it was ok

I know it’s my responsibility to say no and stand on that but I froze and stumbled on my words and panicked we didn’t even really do anything just “hand stuff” I guess but it just keeps happening again and again and again he asks again even after Iv said no and when I clearly have no interest in anything like that and just keeps trying until I finally cave I don’t know if this counts as “sa” and it feels like this might be my fault for not standing on my ground I just don’t know what to do he is younger than me which means I have a responsibility to lead and direct him in a sense and I’m the first person he’s really been with and his first time having sex even tho he lied to me and said he DID have sex with his ex and than later on while we were fucking said that “your my first” which I guess was meant to be sweet or something but it scared me cus the first time we did it wasn’t a decent “first time” and if I had known I’d directed him a little better or something I felt horrible knowing this

Part of me feels like this whole thing is my fault because he’s not sure how to be in a relationship because he has a adhd along with a potential personality disorder that’s not being treated the way it should be by his folks

But another part of me feels like this should just be an obvious thing you shouldn’t do , AITAH for thinking this?