28F with 28M for 2 years: I love him, but I’m no longer sure he’s the man I can build a future with?

I (28F) have been in a (somewhat) relationship with him (28M) for over 2 years now!

A few months into our relationship, I caught him flirting with someone online. We broke up over it and he kept insisting that he didn’t realise it was flirting because “that’s just the way he spoke to her”. This was also coupled with him following random women online and his defence was that he was following them from before! He finally apologised and took accountability for everything and we worked through it and started talking again and it slowly started feeling like a relationship but we’ve still not put a label on it!

He has truly worked on himself to a point where it seems impossible that this person and the person who did all of that are the same person!

But lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of things. He’s at a job that doesn’t live up to his potential at all! He’s really smart, but lazy! He’s not financially at a place where we can think of a serious commitment. He has no solid plan for his future, just goes to work and comes back. He’s also had some instances of anger issues - of raising his voice when he’s frustrated.

From the start of our relationship, he has put on almost 45 pounds! He doesn’t groom himself properly, either has raggedy hair that he refuses to cut because he “wants to grow it” or those awful buzzcuts! I’m pretty honest with him when and usually tell him when I don’t like it! He doesn’t really care and gets the buzzcuts anyway because he says longer hair affects his mental health and makes him feel annoyed because of the weight! (Which is confusing because he either refuses to cut his hair at all of cuts it terribly.)

He doesn’t take care of this skin, has acne and has been telling me he’ll go to the derm for 2 years now. Still hasn’t.

None of this has anything to do with the way he feels about me. I don’t doubt that he loves me. It just feels like he doesn’t love me enough to be the man I want him to be. And it feels unfair to expect him to be someone he’s not. I don’t know what to do?

TL;DR: 2 years in, my “boyfriend” has improved emotionally but still struggles with ambition, hygiene, health, and commitment. I love him, but don’t know if we have a real future.