I hate myself for reaching out when he first ended it. Maybe he'd be back by now

He ended it January 6th. I reached out too many times within that month to try and keep this. I then stopped this on February 6th, and we've been no contact since.

I hate that I didn't just let him go, because maybe he'd be back by now, or closer to it. Now, I'm not even one month into no contact, and wish I didn't keep resetting the clock