Did anyone else have a destabilizing experience during induction

I just finished my 6-session induction (2x/week for 3 weeks). I’m about 9 days out from my last session.

Before starting, I was in a severe depressive crisis with active suicidal thoughts and admitted myself inpatient for safety. My psychiatrist suggested ketamine while I was in hospital.

Session 1 was actually beautiful. I had a vivid experience of running through yellow daisies with my late brother. After session 2 I felt like an 8/10 compared to maybe a 0.5 before starting.

But after that things got complicated.

My induction happened while:

•	I was inpatient (not exactly a calming setting)

•	I was dealing with major family triggers

•	I had a rupture with my psychologist (who specializes in ketamine but wasn’t physically present)

•	I was highly dissociated from the depressive episode

There were boundary issues with my psychologist that made me uncomfortable during treatment, and that relationship ended mid-induction. That whole situation became stressful and chaotic.

Around session 4 I wrote out my childhood trauma story. It didn’t destabilize me at the time, but shortly after that I started noticing my dissociative “parts” much more strongly. I had some memory blanks and felt fragmented. Not diagnosed DID, but it felt like parts were taking over at times.

I also struggled to remember most of sessions 3–6 even immediately after waking up.

Now, 9 days later:

•	I’m not suicidal.

•	Sleep and appetite are fine.

•	But I’m down to maybe a 3–4/10.

•	Low motivation, some anhedonia.

•	Dissociation feels like it might be creeping back.

Everywhere I read online says ketamine works best with strong integration therapy. I didn’t really have that. The induction happened during chaos.

So my question is:

Has anyone else had a destabilizing induction experience like this and still gone on to improve? Did early stress or lack of integration blunt your results long-term? Did boosters help?