What age is this persons level of maturity?

Most of my prime years were spent building a life that only looked successful and stable from the outside. I was engaged to my boyfriend who just graduated pharmacy, living independently, and achieving with my academics and career. Prior to entering adult life, I had read over a hundred books that made me think I had the world figured out. I was never satisfied, continuing to overachieve and perform for external validation.... internally I felt empty, disconnected, and unsure that I even wanted to live this life that felt meaningless. In hindsight, I can see that I was already struggling with a lack of identity and belonging, especially as an Indigenous person trying to exist within a colonial and often prejudiced environment where I didn’t feel fully seen for who I was and where i came from.

Then came the series of painful life lessons. My best friend died, and I don’t think I ever allowed myself to fully process that loss. I lost massive amount of weight due to developing an eating disorder. After that period, many of the external structures that defined me crumbled. I lost the relationship, my education, my place i lived in, and the sense of direction I had relied on. I experienced homelessness, severe depression, suicidality, trauma triggers, and long periods of executive dysfunction and isolation. I kept unsuccessfully trying to rebuild what i lost and eventually gave up. I was also still carrying unresolved grief for my best friend and for the only relationship that made me feel safe and understood. Everything i worked for, was gone. I seriously attempted to end my life a few times. There came the most profound negative emotion I've ever experienced when I woke up in the hospital. No one checked on me even after people knew I was in the hospital. All I did was write in my journal.

Writing my autobiography and reflecting on my life has been the most healing thing ive ever done for myself. It’s helped me process past pain, recognize patterns, and build self-worth without needing validation. I feel proud of surviving traumas and tragedies I once thought would define me forever. I’m also noticing that I don’t fear failure the way I used to, because I’ve already experienced what I feared losing most and survived. Through this suffering, i was able to detach my identity to anything external. What’s very new to me is that I feel fully comfortable being myself that does not conform to societys expectations and my personality surprises people. I’m learning to establish my boundaries, honor my experiences, and recognize my gift for writing without shame and self criticism. I also ended a second recent unhealthy long term codependent relationship that i did not see a future with. This new sense of solid contentment is very unfamiliar but amazing.

What im working on in therapy now is defining what success would look like for me and establishing a long term plan at working towards that. What feels important to name, though, is that even at my lowest points I kept trying to understand myself and my pain. I turned to journaling, reflection, and deep introspection. I didn’t completely shut down emotionally, I became more curious about why I was suffering and how my mind worked. That curiosity is what built my emotional intelligence. I learned how to painfully sit in shame and examine difficult feelings, faced my innermost demons, and recognized unhealthy patterns. I learned how to have compassion for myself and for other people that I previously lacked. I also notice a significant shift in my values.

Earlier in my life I measured my worth through achievement and external stability, often comparing myself to others, constantly worrying I was running out of time, but now I find meaning in things that feel more authentic.... learning, self love, small moments of connection, being kind, and continuing to grow. I have a level of gratitude for being alive that didn’t have before, because I know what it feels like to not want to exist. I also will remember strangers who helped me with compassion when I was homeless. I look back at what I endured with such amazement now. Even though I am still figuring out what i want out of life, I am not in the same mindset I was in before. I have survived experiences that I once thought would destroy me. I have developed insight, empathy, and the ability to reflect on my experiences in a way that helps me make meaning out of them. I am proud of myself. I have a sense of worthiness that does not need comparison or validation.

The most valuable lessons that changed me the most were not learned from a book or seminar. In therapy, I still need to process my grief, and recognize the important purpose of every emotion. I also need support with building a more solid identity. I have already done a lot of deep internal work and that my capacity for reflection, learning, and growth is one of my core strengths. I have significantly reduced anxiety, nightmares and insomnia that I was able to get off prescription medication. My day to day life today isn't filled with anxiety fueled productivity, but rather lived slower and calmer with more intention