How do I stop texting

So context: I am blocked for a month now, but i still text him everyday updating my schedule I guess following our routine. Sprinkled in with some anger and burst of anger and grief every now and again.

Please someone help me. It gives me comfort that he won’t see these. But I am struggling. Why does it hurt so?

Only 2 months relationship, but more painful than my 5 years…

I feel discarded, he was avoidant type. He chose to break up with me when I got too close to trauma, and later tell me he’s been single all this time because he has always felt dead inside. For context I’m 28 and he’s 47 yes yes I know red flag in itself.. he would say I am his ray of sunshine is his bleak life, but he blew out the candle to my soul. I feel soulless now…