binge/restrict cycle in recovery

ive been in “recovery” where i need to gain weight, but im not getting any professional help and im not trying hard enough to. therefore my weight hasn’t been increasing, but im stuck in a cycle where id eat my typical restriction amount that feels natural to me, my weight would drop to >!94-95 lbs!< then id binge to the point my whole body hurts and my weight would go up to >!97-98!<, id eat my normal amount, weight goes back to >!94-95!<, binge, etc. its a endless cycle and it causes me to binge every week and i feel so sick after i do so. how do i make this stop and don’t say “eat more regular balanced meals” its so much easier to say then do. i’m in a very comfortable state with my daily normal eating amount and i can’t get myself to increase/change it.