i shouldn't exist.

i'd like to clarify that i wasn't raped or sexually abused but i should've never existed because in order to be liked, you have to do something good. it was so pointless to do something good because what would change in my life? nothing. i would not feel anything and that is because i genuinely do not care about anyone. not my parents either, and i think those people i hate the most because they brought me to this world. i hate being brought here. im not even a good person im only nice because you haven't done anything to me but if that was the case, i wouldn't be nice. like i said, i shouldn't exist. my parents should've just had the two children and make an end to it. im already here, so what should i do? well i only want to be alone and isolated from everyone. it isn't an option unfortunately. im just tired. i have been suicidal since i was 3 years old (and im not lying about that because at that age i was questioning my own existence). this is rambling i know but i just had to say this. i probably won't get any comments on this. if that is the case, it is what it is. you move on and i wouldn't care. i am not religious because i don't think in a delusional way, i can't find someone who does not exist. i just don't get it. I hate how i was picked, im a waste of sperm and ovum and it should've been someone else. you can say anything you want, this is just my rambling and if you are wondering, i do have some friends but they don't actually care and neither would I because all we ever do is talk about anything useless.