Now I remember why I started being a frequent user of this drug

Last night, I couldn't ignore this feeling of emptiness in my chest, this loneliness, this feeling that no one understands me or that I have no one, this discomfort I feel in my own skin. I hate these nights. Before trying this drug, it was my daily life, but when I started using, it simply disappeared. Nights filled with dissociation. I no longer wandered in nostalgia, in memories I would relive if given the chance. Now I had traded my misery for euphoria, along with friends who accompanied me during my trips. But now, after more than three months of sobriety, that emptiness has returned. My friends, whom I truly felt connected to, feel distant. I don't really have many good friends, to be honest. Now they feel more distant than ever, and now I don't know if I should use again. For the past four weeks, I've been passing by the same closed pharmacy where I used to buy my DXM, seeing if it has reopened. There are other pharmacies nearby, but I'm a coward, and since I don't have that much faith in them... I don't buy trust there, and well, that's my experience, I didn't want to keep it to myself anymore.