GOD DAMN IT I WAS HAVING FUN

I was having the best fucking time hypomanic for the past 6-7 (if I make that joke I’ll hate myself more) days. I’ve been responsible for the most part and staying in control the best I can.

Today no sleep finally caught up with me and I napped for 5 hours, woke up, and BAM 💥 it’s all gone. I knew logically the crash would come next but I was hopeful that maybe I’d just mellow out. I’m embarrassed for how I’ve been acting at work, I feel like everyone’s going to think of me differently now because of the cringy shit I’ve been doing like dancing around, strutting down isles and singing my dumb little heart out.

The crash hasn’t fully set in but each hour it’s getting worse and I know when I wake up tomorrow it will in a down, and I suspect a bad one for how high I got in this hypomanic episode.

I just wanted to feel good forever I was so productive at work and was just feeling so euphoric. Now the negative voices are creeping in and I feel like someone’s pull the rug from underneath me.

Fuck my stupid chungus life I hate it here!!!