Overthinking and what if

Hi . I am 34 years old ,female . I used to be careful in the past . I am introvert and reserved . I was a NBSB and a Virgin , before I met this guy. He courted me, and because he is nice and all. I didn't know what happen to me but I give my everything to him . Including my most treasured V. I was so I love with him that I learn to lie even to my sister (she doesn't like him for me)

To make the long story short , things never go as planned. My sister died and several months later my boyfriend became so cold over an argument I can't discuss. For almost a week he didn't talk to me . I am grieving and heartbroken, and so devasted so I initiated the conversation and then there he broke up with me. I didn't even know if his reasons are valid but all I know was I was broken , not because I lost him but because I lied to my sister, I feel bad not listening to her. I feel sorry that we rarely talk during her last months because I was busy with someone else.

It never ended there. I was so lost that my ex and I keep the friendship--with benefits.Gr wants nudes, I send it to him, he wants videos , I'm down on it. Everything happened for 4 months. Expecting that if I do that at least I still have him. Tho I know I moved on but I don't really know why I still did that . Until One day I got tired of everything and realize what I done was wrong. I decided to stop doing everything in his favor. I decided to slowly cut ties with him

Fast forward there were times that I was scared what if he's keeping my videos and try to upload it . I'm scared. Tho I know him as a kind person and when we cut ties he was the one who said that I should block him and even told me that I am a good person too. But I can't help myself thinking what if one day I saw my self in a scandal. 😥

Do you think I should be scared. Or am I just overthinking?