Dumped and questioning my own reality

Everything was my fault

He grew and I didn’t

I tried so hard to grow but he told me i was emotionally immature and i said i would change but never did

What ended it tonight was that we were having a serious conversation through text. I started typing my response, not realizing he wasn’t done sending all his thoughts.

This deeply annoyed him. He said I always interrupt him and never care to actually make him feel heard. I tried to explain that I do care for him and I’m sorry, I didn’t realize he was still typing so I immediately stopped writing my own response so I could fully listen to his.

This led to him wanting to breakup. I never grew, I don’t give security, I don’t care about him, he’d rather be alone, he needs someone who will appreciate him and make him feel loved and seen.

I truly tried everything. I started walking on eggshells, scared I’d mess up and he’d leave me. Most if not all of our issues were related to my autism and ADHD. And I ruined it.

I really tried but he says I didn’t grow at all. I don’t know what is real anymore. Did I not try hard enough? Did I really manipulate him? Was I the one that hurt him? Why can’t I change no matter how much I try? Why is it never enough?

Will he actually stick to this breakup or does he want me to fawn? He has tried to end things with me so many times so i just don’t know anymore. I am so anxious. My heart hurts