Being estranged is more peaceful but never fully peaceful

I find it so annoying that I still have to think about them because -any family members of theirs that I might want to have a relationship will have questions when I don't want to stir up drama, or pass things along to my parents they have no right to know -worrying any trace or mention of my child (we don't post pictures of their face, etc, for many reasons but this is one) may end up being viewed by my parents who feel entitled to it but don't deserve to know about my amazing child -my child being sent gifts via Amazon despite me telling them not to (we donate them) -worried someday they'll travel here and show up at my door (just happened to a friend of mine by her crazy AF mom after years) -random ppl asking seemingly benign questions like "were your parents thrilled to become grandparents?" -being judged when ppl do find out I'm estranged as if it wasn't out of survival

Anyone else relate to wishing they would just die because life would be simpler?