I don't feel the spear – what do I do?

I play on expert because otherwise it's easy anyway.

My first run was a greatsword run which is usually considered a hard mode, and while it was hard, I did not feel underpowered – I just felt I needed the skill.

My second run was a dual-wield run, which is considered a 'highest skill cap', and somehow it felt much easier. I thought it's because of my increased game knowledge overall.

I play spear now and feel like my game knowledge decreased. I feel much weaker than on my both previous runs at respective points. I don't feel I have the damage, I never have stamina, I'm gaining spirit slower, I can never capitalize on enemy exhaustion in a way that would feel decent (either I'm out of stamina, or in the middle of the attack with buffered inputs and from the wrong side of the enemy, or both).

Upkeeping moonlight stance is notably more expensive than upkeeping phantom sword dance or phantom knight veil. Yup, spirit cost is lower (zero), but time cost and requirement to hit hit the enemy is worse than the need to pay that cost. Uptime of micro damage instances is way lower than knight veil or sword dance as well. It's so easier to loose momentum with a spear.

Overall, I haven't yet figured out why the spear is considered to be the easiest weapon etc etc. My next main boss is Bellerian, if you ask.

Any tips/guides on how to play (in a regular NG), or even encouragements? After winning Maluka 2.0 with 20+ tries I'm very close to dropping the run and continuing DW run in NG+ instead.