Making your kid the "best he can be"

I always found this to be a very weird take. For reference, I played NCAA D1, my kids play AAA on top teams, one played went to Brick.

The question I always wonder is, do you even know what "development" or trying to make "your kid the best he can be" means? I find most don't even know, yet pursue it like it's the end all be all, and then don't even know why they are pursuing this thing they don't really even understand.

If you really truly want your kid to "be the best he can be," well lol he is NOT going to have a good time. These are the things you would have to do:

-Skating in the mornings 3-4 days a week in addition to 3 practices a week and games

-Strength training + running at least 3 days a week

-Stickhandling/shooting everyday

-Video review several times a week

-Nearly year-round hockey

-Little time for friends, family, barely enough time for school

-Seriously have to consider academy/Prep or home school options past 14U/15U

-Constantly nitpicking and analyzing everything you did wrong at every practice and game (no, it's not fun)

-Eating healthy and avoiding junk

So that's only a partial laundry list of things you would have to do to be "the best you can be." These can all be positive things, IF the player knows why he is doing these things. Otherwise it just sucks. Trying to be "the best you can be" at anything in life just sucks and is borderline crazy.

Now, everyone says they want to play NHL or NCAA hockey, but do you really? Do you really know what it takes to play at that level and the insane sacrifices you need to make for years just for a small chance of making it?

When are these sacrifices appropriate? Well, you have to decide one very important thing: Are you just playing hockey, or do you want to go somewhere with hockey?

If you are NOT trying to go somewhere with hockey, you do not have to play AAA. Or even A/AA. This doesn't mean you should slack off and treat your team as a joke. No, but you can still gain all of the life lessons from team sports through REASONABLE hard work, discipline, perseverence and dedication. But you can do so while also avoiding sacrificing your family, school, friends and other activities.

Let's say you decide you want to go somewhere with hockey. Again, as above, do you really? Are you ready for the sacrifice? OK let's say you are. I know so many kids who played AAA/prep at the highest levels and are now not meaningfully employed nor playing hockey. A ton of them end up in community colleges or small local colleges, and most of them never get drafted. Even IF you get lucky enough to get drafted, the outcome is bleak. Let me break it down for you:

1. The top-end AAA/prep kids (think top 6/top 4 on a top 20 team) will be drafted to a Tier 1 or Tier 2 league and have a good shot of making it to NCAA D1/D3. Almost all of these kids will not be playing hockey after college.

2. The top kid on a middle of the pack AAA/prep team (ranking below 20) will probably end up somewhere in a Tier 2 league, maybe Tier 1 if they are lucky. They will end up probably in D3 or ACHA. Done with hockey after college.

3. Everyone else on a middle/bottom end AAA team? You're going to be paying to play Tier 3, if you're lucky. You're not going Tier 1 or Tier 2. You can grind it out in Tier 2/3 for a couple years and hope to jump up to Tier 1, and then off to NCAA. No hockey after college.

These are based on recent draft results. You can see where the kids are coming from and going to which junior leagues. It ain't pretty.

Now here's the really scary part. Division 1 NCAA sounds AMAZING right? Division 3 not too shabby? OK, most of you probably don't even know what teams are in Division 1 or 3. Take a look. With only a few exceptions, most of these schools have horrific academic reputations (unless you're in the ECAC or Big Ten or Hockey East but they only take the absolute best of the best). Absolutely horrific. They are schools you would end up at if you were near the bottom of your class academically. But yay, you got a scholarship! <sarcasm> And what exactly are you going to do when you graduate from that school with a worthless diploma from a school most grad schools or employers have never heard of? And your grades probably sucked because you were playing hockey.

If you had decided to have a normal high school life and focused on studying and school sports, you will get into the same or much better college. And the money you save by not doing all of that? It will be the same or more than the value of whatever scholarship you get.

Yeah, it sounds depressing right? But no, I'm not saying don't go for it. But you the player has to LOVE IT and be passionate about it. That means, even after you are informed about how crappy your odds are and how you are very likely to have a pretty poor outcome, you still want to pursue the dream. But it has to come from YOU the PLAYER. Not silly mommy and daddy talking nonsense about "development" or "be the best my kid can be." You don't know crap about crap.

AAA is a scam for most parents and kids. Talking about "development" is also a scam being pushed by coaches and teams who want your money. They never talk about whether you should be focused on development, and instead talk about it like it's so obviously important that everyone should be focused on it. When I was growing up playing AAA in Canada, development wasn't even a word. We never even discussed "being the best." You either had it and worked hard or you didn't. What are you spending all this time and money developing into? A Tier 3 junior league that you have to pay for, just so you can later go to a community college? Sure, it's probably worth it for the top-end kids on the top teams. But for everyone else? Come on, give it a rest already.