Give me your bad reviews of Roadside Picnic

I just want someone, anyone to agree that this is a bad book. The characters are unlikable, nothing happens and the mystery isn’t mysterious. Dude’s only in the Zone briefly, the stuff he gets isn’t interesting, he’s an asshole, the “subtlety” is so subtle it’s hard to care. I talk (and type) dumb, but I read good (told you I talk dumb). This book is not a masterpiece. I will defend my opinion until I get bored with doing that. I will most likely not do it in an eloquent fashion.