Relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder

Hi everybody! Im 16 years old and i have already bpd diagnosed. Its the worst thing that ever happened to me, i feel like nobody could ever understand how much pain i feel EVERY FUCKING DAY. Except this one person, my bf, he listens to me hes there for me. Hes loving me, ig hes loving me? Idk, i have bpd and besides my trauma with members of my family i have trauma from toxic romantic relationships. And now i have him, the prettiest man i ever seen, the most loving soul I have ever seen. Idk what to do, my mind tricks me to think that he doesnt love me, that i need to run away, that hes gonna leave me. Even when he says that he loves me and he shows me, i can't feel the love he gives me. But ik that he loves me, ik that hes the love of my life I need help, i need skils, i need smth that protects me from losing him and he from getting hurted everyday by the person he loves the much. Can somebody tells me what to do? I have to long time to wait for therapy and i dont wanna risk losing him in this time Thank you for reading this!! I hope, somebody can help me, thank you<3