A payday loan institution called me today

I don't owe them any money.

They called presumably to offer me some high interest bullshit. Understandably so since a previous version of myself was repeatedly paying off and reborrowing many times over. I am, or was, their target market, before I was able to turn things around which took way longer than it should have.

For a long time I was paying off and reborrowing, which was the most demoralizing feeling in the world. They knew me by name. They were happy to see me.

So much of my paychecks went to just paying off the interest so I could reborrow. It was a $500 loan at 15% interest. So I'd pay back $575 then reborrow, and this went on for a long time at multiple institutions.

I didn't answer the phone. I just smiled to myself, pressed ignore, and then blocked their number.

More than anything it was a reminder of how shitty life used to be and how demoralizing and draining it was to have to keep going back to those places because I couldn't afford to just pay off the loan outright.

Life is still not exactly where I want it to be, but at least I'm not a slave to those places anymore. At least my paycheck is all mine, and at least I never have to look those shills in the eye again and pretend I'm not dying inside just being there.

Lastly, and I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT GET A PAYDAY LOAN!