Getting kicked out

First, I’ll start by apologizing for any mistakes I might make because English isn’t my first language.

Anyway, I’m in a really difficult situation and I need some advice.

First, you should know that I’m a 15-year-old girl with divorced parents. They divorced when I was 4. My mother is an American Catholic, and my father is Algerian and Muslim. They had a lot of problems because of their religious and cultural differences, which is mostly why I think they divorced.

After that, I lived with my mom because my dad moved to another country for work, so I would mostly see him during vacations. He stayed very involved in my life by calling me every day and making me study. This helped me a lot because he was strict and pushed me to reach my full academic potential.

When I was 9, he married a woman from Algeria — let’s call her K. They moved to the country where I was living, and everything went fine until I reached middle school. That’s when my teenage years started, and at first I wasn’t doing my absolute best in school (I had a 15/20 average, which isn’t good in my dad’s eyes, but it’s still objectively good).

My dad started becoming very strict, which was fine at first, but at some point he began threatening that I wouldn’t be allowed to see him and K anymore. By then they had another child, who was 1 year old. I was in a pretty bad place emotionally at that time because he could be very harsh when yelling at me.

Anyway, in 8th grade I did very well — I got an 18.5/20 average — so that year we didn’t have any problems. In 9th grade I did fine too, but every time my dad would yell at me, he would stop talking to me completely, sometimes for up to a month. Then we would just start talking again with no explanation.

After that, I started 10th grade (high school). I moved to a big city three hours away to live near my dad’s side of the family. My mom hadn’t found a place to live there yet, and she was very sad that I was leaving — especially since I was going to a Muslim school, and she doesn’t approve of me being Muslim.

The year started really badly. My dad found a boy’s number on my phone (we were just friends), got extremely angry, and took my phone away for three months. Later, I was supposed to go to sports practice. My friend and I thought about skipping it, but we decided not to. We arrived five minutes late, and my dad happened to be there. After practice, in the car, he yelled at me more than he ever had in my life. I told him we had changed our minds and didn’t skip, but he said I was lying and didn’t want to hear anything. He also thought I had been with a boy, which wasn’t true.

After that, things weren’t great. My grades weren’t amazing, and one day when my mom was visiting the city, I went to have lunch with her on her last day but forgot to tell my dad. That evening, he was furious. He told me my 4-year-old brother was smarter than me and that every day he was more disappointed in me. I cried a lot during the next few days, and we didn’t talk for four months.

During those months, I left Islam (I only told my mom), and I became much more open-minded. I feel like I matured and changed a lot during that time. My dad doesn’t really know me on a personal level because he once said he didn’t care about having a close relationship with me until I was older — he just wanted to focus on my studies.

Yesterday, he asked me if I wanted to change schools. I said I didn’t know. Later, I talked to my stepmom (K) and told her there was a lack of diversity at my school since everyone was Muslim and Arab, and I felt like I wanted to meet different kinds of people.

That evening, my dad told me, “You know you don’t have to live with us if you don’t like my values.” I asked him why he would say that, and he told me I would be a bad influence on my younger brother when he grows up. He said this situation was toxic for everyone, and if I wasn’t able to follow his rules, values, and principles, I could go live with my mom.

That would mean barely seeing my two younger brothers, who might eventually forget me, and my stepmom, whom I really like. I might also never see my family in Algeria again. But at the same time, I don’t think I can keep living with my dad anymore.

My mom has found an apartment in the city, so we would stay here. I have until the end of the week to decide, but I already know what I want. The hardest part is that my little brothers might not really be in my life anymore, and I would miss them so much.

I feel so much better with my mom, since she really supports and understands me, so I will be better with her.

So please, I really need advice because I don’t know what to do.

Sorry this was so long, and thank you so much for reading.
– OP