I (27f) am thinking about leaving my bf (31m) over his comments about sexual assault.

We've been together for 3 years and live together for some background info.

Long story short, my bf (31m) and I were watching at ATNM doc today and the scene with Shandi Sullivan and her assault came on. He kinda laughed and said "i mean it's kinda her fault, she was drunk in a hot tub with a bunch of guys." I stayed silent and my jaw dropped and he just said, "ok i don't know, what did she expect?"

I know it's hard to give context if u haven't watched or aren't familiar with the show, but basically the girl was maybe 90 pounds, hadn't eaten in days probably, and production recorded her "having sex" with one of the guys they invited over that night after several glasses of wine (and not to mention, had been emotionally tortured on that show). It was a whole thing and she didn't remember it and it was a source of humiliation for media to use upon her for years.

Anyway, I was sexually assaulted 4 years ago lol. I was drunk and I honestly wouldn't have known the guy raped me and recorded it if the police hadn't banged on the door and stopped it mid-rape. I was also mid-eating disorder and at 100 pounds, just 2-3 mixed cocktails was enough to have me entirely blacked out.

For what it's worth, he got arrested and was charged. He was able to plea down from actual rape to sexual assault, but I took what I could. My bf knows about this and has honestly always been supportive to my face about this, though I don't really talk about it. I have maybe once or twice.

I'm still really caught off guard and very uncomfortable idk. I didn't say a word because I knew if I did it would start a fight and I'd have to defend both the girl on the screen and then myself to make my point.

I'm genuinely rethinking our whole relationship lol. I still have nightmares about my rape, and the whole court process, and the video of him assaulting my unconscious body. He intended to send it to his friends , btw and I still wonder if it was backed up to an iPad or iCloud somewhere. To think my bf would even for a second believe that was my fault bc I had a few drinks beforehand is making me so, so sad lol.

What do I do? Am I wrong for for thinking this might be a deal breaker ?