I hate being autistic

being autistic is awful. I would give anything to not be autistic, if there was a cure I would beg for it, if I could go back in time and be treated and fixed as a child I would take any risk.

autism is a miserable lonely existence. there are no perks or upsides. I'm chronically ill and a cancer survivor, Id pick those a million times over, I'd double them, if I could just be normal and likeable and know how to function and communicate and have relationships. it's not possible that there's a single good or neutral thing about autism. not for me. I hate this. Im not even ashamed to say how much I envy neurotypicals. Id give anything to be one. the only thing I'm ashamed of is being autistic, everyone is right to view us the way they do