Is It Reasonable to Want a Porn-Free Relationship?

Hi,

I hope it’s okay that I reach out from time to time. There are periods when my ex’s addiction affects me deeply, and I end up feeling incredibly alone ❤️

I’m now in a new relationship with a man I truly experience as very honest — someone I genuinely don’t believe would have it in him to lie. He doesn’t consume pornography, and we have open conversations about it: about its impact on intimacy, and about how we see monogamy as directing sexual desire within the relationship.

Still, in the absence of consistent support — especially online — I sometimes start to question myself. Is porn only a problem for those who are or become addicted? Or are you opposed to it in general? Do you have a zero-porn boundary regardless of whether a partner is or has been addicted?

I think it may be society’s gaslighting that affects me here — the message that “if he’s not addicted, then porn is harmless and completely fine.” I notice that I have a very hard time fully relaxing and enjoying my current relationship, even though I’m getting what I need. I start questioning whether I’m being reasonable… whether I even deserve this.

So I guess my real question is: Is it reasonable to want a completely porn-free relationship, even if there’s no addiction involved?

Sending love to this community. Thank you for always being here ❤️