Can’t tell if I’m justified in wanting a separation

I’m 42 and have been married for 15 years. We have two elementary-aged kids. We moved three years ago to a place that is 1700 miles away from family (his idea), and so I have zero support near by. I don’t make friends easily, so I don’t even have friends here. I’m lonely, frustrated, and have no one to talk to.

We have been in couples counseling for 2 years with VERY minimal progress. We both work FT (he works 40 hours and I work 32 a week), yet 80% of the household duties and mental load are on me. He does all our finances and the dishes and to his credit, he is a great and involved dad. But most everything else is me.

He is messy, disorganized, and likely has undiagnosed ADHD. I have to keep the mental load of when repairs need to be done on the house, scheduling and going to kids’ appointments, remembering holidays and birthdays, fixing things around the house (he is NOT at all handy). And he pees on the floor and doesn’t wipe it up. I know this last part sounds trivial but I’m sick of it! I’ve confronted him so many times and he gets defensive and snarky with me. He leaves dirty clothes everywhere and when he does put the dishes away, he can’t remember where anything goes so he just puts it in random places.

I’m no longer attracted to him. He’s gained 100 lbs since 2020 and has no desire to change. I’m overweight myself so I know this sounds bitchy, but physically it’s uncomfortable having sex because of how big he’s gotten.

Reading all this, I think I’m the asshole here, but I just can’t shake the feeling of wanting to divorce - or at least separate. I’m holding 15 years of resentment.

Is this all just silly reasons to want to leave?