Just break-up

hi. I'm making a post here because I don't have any friends. my Long term (8 years) girlfriend and I just broke up. it is super painful because I think of her as the love of my life. This was my birthday gift. My birthday is today. I'm 39 years old now and totally numb. I know it's not the best thing to do but I'm now drinking some rum. I don't know what to do with my life at this point. I have everything ready for the proposal in March. Travel an activities in NY. it's awful.