My life currently and how to make changes.

Im 34, this is the first time in my life that I havent been in a relationship with someone and lived on my own. I did have my own place but when I broke up with my last gf in 2022 I almost immediately jumped into my most recent relationship and I moved in with her when she asked me too (bc I was never home) I said yes. I moved to my apartment in December.

I really do love it. Yes I can get lonely but since it wasn't the healthiest of relationships, I find myself almost fantasizing having someone romantic around, not even a relationship. Just a woman to enjoy my time with, and not just for sex. Most of the time when I think about it though, the thought of meeting and finding someone new is exhausting.

I went on a date a few dates ago to build confidence and it really was an awesome time. I was only being myself so I wasn't nervous at all. I had been busy and she was also very dry through text, I figured she was just better in person after meeting her. She texted my phone mentioning "checking in" and questioning why I use Snapchat if I don't have a gf. Nothing too serious, but I met her one time and I hear things like that, it raises my alarm. I chose not to reach out again.

I have truly only been alone and single since December 1st but I fear that my last relationship took away my ability to be as understanding about a woman's point of view when it comes to small things like not "checking in" or complaining about "not texting her". I trust my instincts, I just don't want to be quick to turn a chance away bc my guard is up. Plus I know it's only been 3 months but I would like to really take my time getting to know someone. I felt that if things progressed she would've end up wanting to move too fast.

Going forward, what're somethings I can work on within myself to build confidence as well as staying grounded and not fleeing when it comes to misunderstandings when they arise?