Am I bi sexual?

Hello! I am a 21-year-old female, and recently I’ve been questioning my sexuality. It’s been causing a lot of confusion, anxiety, and stress for me. I’ve been staying up late at night thinking about it, and I just need to get it off my chest.

I’ve grown up my whole life being attracted to men. So I guess I am wondering if I am bi or bi-curious?I know I am attracted to men, and I can 100% have sex with them, though I can’t always picture myself married to one.

I’ve always watched gay porn (mxm), and the past few years I’ve also watched lesbian porn. I’ve fantasized about kissing girls and being in love with a girl, but my issue is I don’t know how far sexually I could go with a girl. I don’t want to get too explicit, but there are certain things I know I probably wouldn’t be able to do with a girl. Another problem I have is going to sound terrible, but I think I have internalized homophobia. I have nothing but love and support for gay/lesbian people. But when it comes to myself thinking about being bi or lesbian, I have a really hard time accepting it. If I watch FxF porn, I always feel guilty or gross afterwards, and I always just convince myself I don’t like girls and I was only horny. I also always have thoughts that maybe I don’t like girls enough to be bisexual? Do straight women watch lesbian porn? I guess I am just really struggling with what makes someone bisexual/lesbian and what doesn't.

Also, like two years ago I became friends with a masc lesbian, and I realized I kinda felt attracted to her but only because she was more "masculine." I found myself getting excited over thoughts of her liking me. But I denied these thoughts and feelings because I am mainly attracted to masc women, so I always just thought my brain was confusing them for men and I only like men.

But recently my thoughts have shifted after I watched a TV show called ‘The Hunting Wives,' and one of the main parts of the show is that an older married woman seduces a younger married woman. I found this to be very exciting and arousing? And I wished that I was being seduced by an older woman 🤣🤣. This immediately made me google an “am I a lesbian quiz." My results were bisexual.

I guess I am just feeling very confused and scared to accept that maybe I do like women. Putting all this into words makes me realize that I probably am bisexual but just too afraid to admit it. I don’t think a lot of my family or my friends would accept me that way. I think the dynamic between me and some of my friends would change if I ever told them I am bisexual or a lesbian.I guess I just want confirmation that straight women don’t feel this way and to know if anyone has ever felt this way?