I’m a bad person. What to do now?

I know the title seems bad, but it’s the truth. I’m not a good person. Not in my eyes and with my sense of morality. I’ve done terrible things that I can’t take back no matter what. Things that are disgusting and irredeemable to the general public.

I’ve tried self-compassion, forgiveness, telling myself what I did wasn’t that bad, but that made things worse. My opinion of myself isnt going to change so dont try to. That will only make things worse.

Now I’ve reached a point of acceptance: I’m a bad person.

The thoughts of what I did haunt me. They always will. I have a support system and a good life. I’m not in a constant state of panic or distress anymore.

I’m alive, but I don’t quite see a point in anything. I don’t have any motivation. I see people talk about their issues and the things they’ve done that haunt them and I feel nothing.

I comfort and tell them all the things but in my head I’m thinking “that’s not that bad”s. I see myself and everyone around me differently now. I can’t find it in me to judge anyone because I find that hypocritical. I’m going through an ego death I think.

How do I return to a sense of normalcy with my new identity? How do I find motivation when I think nothing I do matters anymore?