Requesting Advice

Repost: the auto moderator took my last post down because I used a word other than “Reject” and it didn’t like that. I changed the wording so hopefully this will go through.

Ive been lurking in this community for a while now. I’m here looking for some advice. I’m 25 years old and I was raised non-denominational but only recently began to believe. I want to fully commit myself to the Lord. Jesus Christ is my savior and I want to reject myself and be born again. I just seem to fail at rejecting myself and I need help.

I look at how I live day to day and I feel super guilty about all my failures. I swear and make crude jokes a lot, I have struggles with Lust, I like to drink, and a whole list of other sins. What makes me feel the most messed up is I know these things are wrong and yet I still do them and I feel terrible about it. Why do I knowingly do things that I know to be sinful? I think the big guilt is realizing that these will all likely happen again. I feel so confused. If I believe why do I struggle to honor Him and do what he commands? I know these habits are all harmful to me and I want to let them go but I always ultimately seem to fail.