So close but yet so far

I have been going through a hard time recently, I have been so close to getting my desires but it has ended up not coming to fruition.

My goal is to buy my first property outright, and being mortgage free, i have always believed this despite what my finances say.

The first time it came close to happening was my parents own a small ish piece of land, they said I could have this land and build my own house on it. My dad is a builder so on weekends we could do it, only having to pay for building materials which was a dream come true, a brand new house for very cheap. And my parents would then gift me the land and boom dream come true. I was super grateful and excited, and once we were getting ready to proceed having done drawings, getting ready for planning permission etc we found out there was an issue with the boundary and have not been able to proceed. Devestated.

I kept hope throughout, and some time went past. Me and my girlfriend had since decided to look at buying houses together. As she is originally from another country, her parents decided that they wanted to buy her a house in my country for her security, they are pretty wealthy and they would be looking to purchase the house outright.

My girlfriend told me they would be willing to buy it for both of us, we would each own 50%, I could not believe they would be prepared to do that. Again I was so grateful and quite literally shocked, like i knew my manifestation would come true but not like that. We started viewing houses, I even had a crazy coincidence with one viewing, the house number was 11, the day we went to view the property was the 11th, the time we booked the viewing was 11am, and the booking confirmation email came through at 11:11, crazy right? I thought the stars had aligned and my dream had come true.

Anyways long story short, the situation had changed and this no longer seems possible. again devestated, so close but so far. It now looks like i may just have to get a mortgage on my own place.

I feel like the universe is dangling my desires then pulling them away, like some cruel joke. 2 times i have thought my payers have been answered. Why is this happening to me? I cant help but feel there is some deeper reason behind it all. is it to make me stronger? to become self sufficient? or truly appreciate it when it does come true?

I would really appreciate any insights or suggestions, because my mood is so low. thanks for reading