I’m tired of waiting

feel like I’m always waiting/ being told to wait. I’m 22 and I’ve never been a serious relationship but Iwan expected to wait until the right thing comes around. I work an unpaid internship and I’m expected to wait until I can make significant income or even enough to support myself with. I have to wait until my dreams come into fruition. I have to wait until I get my dream body.

I know that it’s encouraged to enjoy the process but I sometimes get incredibly frustrated. The people around me are falling in love or have fallen in love at least once and it has been reciprocated. That or their careers are progressing - they’re getting their masters or work jobs that pay them extremely well or managed to secure visas in countries and live in cool cities.

It sucks cause I feel like I’m making no progress and that nothing good is happening to me. I had to move back home postgrad, I don’t get paid at work, I’ve never had someone love me back, my family is in a hard financial place (neither of my parents are able to find work) and I can feel my hopes and dreams slipping through my fingers.

I feel like a loser sometimes. Why can’t I just get anything I want? Why does it feel like I constantly have to work harder than everyone else when everything seems like it comes to them easily.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to be present. It’s hard to stay positive and it’s hard to believe that things will get better for me when they haven’t for so long.