How Often

I had my first episode in the middle of the night in May of 25 and dang it sent me into a tail spin. It was like I had and was going to act on this urge to harm my son. I went the next week in the deepest depression I had ever been in. I told myself I wouldn’t miss and work because of this and drudged my way through and talked to my doctor and got on Citalopram. For the most part after a month the intrusive thoughts had faded quite a bit. Well in the last month they have turned up again just not as severe but really messing with my mental energy. Do I need to up the meds? How often do your cycles come and go? I hate this as when I’m cycling I want to be distant from the best thing that happened to me. My child and wife. Like it’s best if I’m alone. Just looking for insight from you all. Maybe I’m not even bad. Just need to work through it.