Retrieve(d) my balls*

Hey D,

I thought I was hypomanic at first when I started using my voice. It felt foreign, wrong, abrasive. And then one day it didn't. I calmly told a shitty family member (of a client) that I don't have to tolerate his behavior. I said "you can make your expectations clear. We both have the same goal, keep your loved one safe and comfortable. But I'm not going to play mind-reader."

He started up with some more shit and I calmly told him "again, I'll remind you: I'm here one hour of the week." He looked like he wanted to either punch me or fuck me, but said nothing. That's not the cool part though. When I used to speak up for myself it was like all of my internal organs were at unrest, my voice would shake, and it would leave me rattled for the rest of the day. Now? Now it feels good.

I'm ready to fuck some shit up, friend. I wish you were here to see it. I know you'd have been proud of me too. I got an oil change this morning, some grocery crap, and stuff to surprise Karen for her birthday. She's been such a good, unexpected friend to me. I want to make her feel special when we meet for coffee on Sunday. I'm going to make a tray of brownies with chocolate frosting and some girly ass Barbie sprinkles I found at Dollar Tree. I fucking hate baking, but brownies hardly count and she's worth it.

It's Aurora's birthday this week too, so Sunday is going to be a super fun day. I wish you were here to celebrate our friend together. I miss you so much dude. I hope the big man upstairs is taking good care of you. If anyone deserves that, it's you.

Okay, I gotta leave this parking lot. Metal all day in your honor buddy. We got Amon Amarth, Children of Bodom, Judas Priest, Metallica(for you, of course), Iron Maiden, Cannibal Corpse, Necrophagist, Hatebreed, Shai Hulud, Parkway Drive, Carcass, Chimaira, Agalloch, etc.

*figurative, not literal