I’ve gained weight and lost sm muscle so now i just feel so weak and i hate it (possible tw maybe??)

the title basically explains everything, i hate feeling this weak and i hate being this weak.

i wasnt even an active person before i was sick and now i just hate myself for taking that for granted, i struggled with an ed too right before i got sick so i just feel like my life before this shit was a waste too. i just feel regret.

Im only 18, i don’t want this to be my life but it is anyway and i have no idea how to accept it. im just pissed rn and the fact that my body looks the way it does and i havent been able to leave my house for months doesn’t help.