I'm struggling to see a way forward with my life

I'm 22 currently in college with no job. My family are having financial troubles.

I've been bullied all my life which has affected my confidence to the point where I try to avoid people and have panic attacks in regular conversations. I avoid any sign of confrontation or asserting myself in situations as I've done for years. I stutter quite a lot and have

Im suspicious that something happened in my childhood which has given me trauma. My therapist doesn't think its what I think it is though.

I dont know how to continue living like this. I know Im priveleged and have it better in many ways than 90% of the world but Im not seeing the change I want in myself and it feels like its all downhill from here.

I dont want to let my family down but really I dont see any other option than succeed in my degree I feel mildy lost in and get a job, or become an even bigger financial burden on my family, to point its not sustainable.

I dont want to let my family and friends down but my mental health has been shut since middle school and its gotten to the point I dont even want to love like this anymore.

I was told to "k.m.s" in high school a lot of times. I'd have liked to be able to say overcame those people who wronged me but here I am still thinking about it. The world is also pretty depressing and hopeless to me. Ive tried to not focus on that but its also depressing.

Anyway yeah thats pretty much it. If that my situation could change for the better. That I could manifest that change in myself and face the world bravely I think I could continue. I just dont see it happening right now.