I gots a situation...

Okay so for some context (and decision making) I'm 16M with high functioning autism (if i mention it I'll shorten it to HFA). I'm a huge fan of anime, but lately it's gotten to the point where I get a crush on a character every other anime I watch. Lately, it's JUST been these three:

-Kurumi Tokisaki

-Rin Tohsaka

-Riruka Dokugamine

However, I SWOON for all three. That's the issue. I'm still somewhat new to this whole thing. I got introduced to fictosexuality around this time last year(?) by a lovely person whom I don't think is on reddit anymore. Anyway, TLDR, I was thrown into the deep end, and thanks to this person and my HFA, i feel FORCED to treat this like a real relationship, or else I'm "not a real ficto". I've been getting crushes on characters since I was around 7 years old, my first ever that I can remember being Serena from Pokemon X and Y. However, now that current me went a full 7 months (doesn't sound like a lot actually saying this now, March-September) with Kurumi Tokisaki before disappearing from all ficto subs, I feel weird.

I rotate crushes like mad. The reason I fell out of love with Kurumi? Rin. I'd started fate stay/night unlimited blade works, and it was love at first sight. However, at the end of that story, rin and the protagonist end up together, so I swiftly (after being made fun of by my friend for crushing on a taken girl) fell back to Kurumi. In Date a Live, Kurumi is single until the very end, becoming a successful detective. So, I went back to Kurumi. The last few months of 2025 was just speedrunning crushes. To name a few, C.C from Code geass, crusch from re:zero, masha kujou from roshidere. However, December of 2025 up until around early January this year, I started reading bleach. And when I got to the fullbringer arc...woah riruka was adorable. And as I read more, wanting to know how one girl could be so huggable yet so adorable (yet also feisty), I learned of her backstory, and how she just wanted to be loved her whole life, wanting to fit in, make friends, etc. This sealed the deal, and I really thought Riruka was the new Kurumi, a second chance at being fictosexual...!

...and then my friend suggested I watch Fate heaven's feel...which led to me looping back to Rin...

At some point I got back into date a live (I don't know how it just happened), so kurumi stocks were up, rin was just wife material, and riruka is ADORABLE. For my heart, this was big STONKS.

So, skip to present day. I'm in love with 3 different girls, wanting to treat fictosexuality as a real relationship or else it feels invalid, and loving 3 at the same time feels weird, as I've been used to mono stuffs. I'm a loyal person, and despise cheaters. So the mere concept of being in love with multiple people at once felt like heresy...

Until I started asking questions. Making posts. Thanks to you all, I've figured out I'm polyfictorose. (Well, I'm still unsure about the poly part, since again, I can't help but view it as cheating/a harem, which isn't love).

...maybe I should change the tag, I typed wayyy too much for this to just be a discussion. If I started posting random stuff about rin riruka and kurumi, would I be "valid"? Or would i just be some "kid" trying to blend in with something that's actually just really intense crushes? After all, ficto minors have a bad reputation for the most part, from what I know from my time as a lurker. Thank you to those that read through that whole mess, I was just typing out my thoughts on this. I know I'm still young (16, as a reminder), but...fictional crushes have been with me all my life. At one point I started having actual conversations with them in my head during classes that were boring.

...I think that's all. Let me know your thoughts on my existence, I guess? I'm much better at starting rants than I am at ending them